Infidelity advice can come from different quarters. It may be gratuitous or professional. Medical specialists, priests and clinical psychologists who specialize in this area maybe approached for advice that is disinterested and based on proven theories. They can be relied upon to take in information that is offered and offer sage advice in return. However, some people become frustrated when professionals overdo listening and are loath to give active suggestions.
Advice from parents, good friends and even strangers is unlikely to be objective, but could be highly subjective and extreme. It may not be worth following but has a value in the psychological support that it provides. A person who has been betrayed will feel lonely, hurt and vulnerable. Anger and indignation expressed in support will at least make a person feel a little better.
One of the worst possible experiences for a person to have is to lie alone in a bed that has been shared for years, imagining a spouse in the warm embraces of someone else. Sleep will not come as images of a hotel room and two bodies keep moving into the mind like a slide shoe. With each image the sufferer feels what it is like to be stretched on a rack and torn limb from limb. I such an extreme it may be useless to try and sleep and better to get up, make a cup of tea and find something to do, even at two o’clock in the morning. One may tidy the house or make lists.
Tidying the house may not be altogether effective because it allows thoughts to rush through the mind with gathering ferocity like a runaway train. Making lists can be more productive. Writing down the advantages and disadvantages of divorce can focus the mind on positive action.
As another day begins its tentative approach the night worker might begin to feel better able to sleep, having plotted an action plan. Even if it the plan is never put into action drawing it up can have a more healthy effect that taking a few sleeping pills. Sleep may come, and with it some restoration of emotional equanimity.
Infidelities are not always amenable to easy solutions. Making a list of intended steps may fall far short of an final solution. There are at least two other parties who are capable of scotching plans and others such as offspring, lawyers and accountants may create further obstructions. Some activity is necessary in order to create diversion.
Distraction can relieve pain but can also have other advantages. People who go in for extreme sports are likely to have personal problems of their own that have caused them to look out for something desperate to do such as diving out of airplanes. This could put them in a good position to offer sympathetic infidelity advice. However, in the final analysis each person involved must take an individual decision and stick with it.
